Worth The Wait
First off, I’M A MARRIED MAN!
For those who may not know, I tied the knot with my Queen on June 30 and I can honestly say it’s been the greatest decision I’ve ever made (next to receiving my salvation). It’s been a full month of love, excitement, new experiences and quality time spent with each other.
Today I’m not writing about how much splendor marriage can bring or how to find the right one. This post is 100 percent about SEX.
Sex is often a taboo subject in Christian circles when in reality, it should be discussed more often. Over the course of the past month and a half, God has shown me things regarding sex that I believe will help someone, if not all of my single friends and family.
“Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:18
I heard this scripture as a young teen from my parents and the youth pastors at my church, but I kind of blew it off as just another commandment I had to follow without taking it as seriously as I should have. During this time in my life, the Bible had yet to come alive in me.
When I was fifteen, my dad took me out for a father/son kickback. I’ll never forget this day because it was my first time watching LeBron play in person and he did all kinds of amazing feats against the Washington Wizards. It wasn’t just watching my favorite player dunk all over my hometown team that stuck with me but rather the conversation my dad and I had as we drove to the arena. This was one of the first times my pops opened up to me in a way he’d never done before; I guess I was at that age where your parents begin to become confidants and not just authority figures.
I was already thoroughly interested in females—the dimples seemed to get me in trouble, but this dialogue became the anticipated “birds and the bees” talk I knew would inevitably come up one day. Much to my surprise, it wasn’t awkward and was much more transparent than I ever imagined it would be. My dad told me all about his past and explained to me why I didn’t want to follow in those footsteps. We talked about generational curses and how he’d gone through the same struggles I had. Looking back now, I wish I’d cherished that talk more.
Growing up in church, I was always looking for “The One” and I found a few of them LOL. But unfortunately, like so many young people, I used this search for destined love to justify my lustful desires. Despite the talk with my father, I lost my virginity at age sixteen. To make matters worse, I continued serving in church on Sundays as if I wasn’t satisfying the lust of flesh Monday through Saturday. I was a hypocrite. This continued through my collegiate years, even while attending my Christian university. (Your location doesn’t determine your actions, which is another post for another day.)
Once I got really serious about my walk with Christ, I got tired of giving myself away and taking pieces of girls’ hearts. I committed to abstinence and did my best to keep my promise to God. I wasn’t perfect, Lord knows I had my downfalls, but I was determined to live above reproach and was held accountable by my brothers within my inner circle. Which reminds me, community matters. Watch who you keep around you, they usually have the most influence in your life.
Fast forward to meeting my now-wife. From the time we started dating, we both openly discussed our desire to stay pure until marriage. When I decided she was The One my soul loved, we got even more serious about our promise. (Side note: My wife is fine and when you love someone, you naturally desire to give yourself to them. Throughout the engagement process it was difficult not to answer the calls my body was ringing in. For me as the man, I took on the challenge to lead us; I’m thankful she was just as strong. We survived.)
Here I am, married and fully able to have sex with no conviction. The important part of this is what I have come to understand about sex and how I had it so wrong prior to saying, “I do.”
There’s no feeling in the world like experiencing intimacy with your spouse. It’s far from just physical pleasure; there’s a spiritual connection that’s so beautiful it has the power to bring out real, raw emotion. God showed me how He created sex as an act of worship to Him. He created us as sexual beings, but it was never meant to happen outside the confines of marriage.
I had it all wrong before.
Sex brings two separate people together as one, which is an extremely solid reason why you shouldn’t have premarital sex with multiple partners. Soul-ties are real, and when you give your body to someone, you’re engaging in the spiritual act of tying your souls together. When God says, “run from sexual sin,” He’s not sharing His opinion. There’s power in the act when it’s done the way God intended.
One of my youth leaders used to tell me, “When you sleep with someone who isn’t your spouse, remember you are sleeping with someone else’s spouse.” When you look at it through that lens, it changes your perspective. Ask yourself: is this the person you want to share your entire being with? It’s not just physical, it’s so much more. Sex is truly worth waiting for.