My blog posts are generally for all audiences, but today I want to speak specifically to men. I believe during this quarantine and these last days that God is requiring more boldness and more transparency amongst his children. It’s almost abnormal for men to share struggles and inner battles. It’s time to change the narrative.
LUST. It’s a word we all know and hate. Throughout this quarantine, I’ve had countless conversations with friends about how difficult it’s been to fight temptation. There seem to be distractions around every corner. Porn is no longer confined to magazines and DVD’s hidden under the bed. It’s more accessible than ever before, featured on social media platforms without any kind of restriction. Sexualized nudity is everywhere and in every film, not rated G. It’s getting more and more difficult to live righteously.
The question is, how do we overcome this seemingly never-ending battle?
In my own personal life, I’ve struggled greatly with lust. I was introduced to pornography in 6th grade and it troubled me for years. There was a time when it even trickled into my marriage. One of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had was confessing to my wife that I was addicted to porn. I don’t recommend going cold turkey and confessing without some kind of instruction from God and an accountability partner. God really convicted me and I knew it was time, to tell the truth. Although it caused some pain and took time to rebuild trust, I felt so free. I realized that freedom was in confessing.
I was having a conversation with some of my bros and one said, “sin thrives in secrecy”. As we began to uncover what that meant, God revealed to me that sin was like mold. Mold grows in darkness, but when exposed to light and heat, it dies. But, it must be exposed. When your sin goes unconfessed and hidden, it continues to grow no matter how bad you may want otherwise.
The only way to begin the road to freedom is confession. A non-sugarcoated confession of the truth. Repentance to God shows remorse, and God covers you in grace. Confession helps those that you trust and love to keep you accountable. That is where freedom lies.
Are you struggling with lust during this quarantine? Have you fallen victim to promiscuous Instagram or Twitter posts that lead to pornography websites? If you have, you’re not alone and it’s time to face the truth. Here are some thoughts from my close friends that are fighting temptation and trying to help other men do the same:
“Every day is a battle for me. I don’t think The battle isn't won at one time, it’s won every day because there is a temptation every day. Setting boundaries for myself has worked in the past for me like using software, setting time limits, and removing certain apps on my phone. But community and confessing my sins to others has worked the most. The more I communicate with others, exposing myself, the freer I become. I believe we need to speak with the Lord, but we need to make use of our accountability partners. Check-ins are needed weekly. I think the issue is that we get into our own heads about sharing our weaknesses and fear that someone may use them against us. Exposing ourselves to one another takes away the secrecy aspect and allows us to be real and open, regardless of our insecurities. Sometimes men love to look like they have it all together but in reality, no one does.”
- Diandre Byfield
“The battle with Lust is a fight I have to engage in every day. The steps I take daily to avoid falling is spending ample time in my word and devotion to the Lord to renew my mind and rid myself of any impure thoughts. Another step is guarding my ear and eye gates to the best of my ability to avoid hearing or seeing anything that may tempt me to return to old habits. I would encourage any man who is fighting this battle, to continue to fight the good fight. You are not alone in this war! There are many tools and resources to equip you for victory. Also, accountability plays a major role. Find someone you trust to walk with you on this journey! Last but not least, Remember this: WE WIN IN THE END!”
- Trey Lewis
“The battle that I have with lust still goes on for me daily. It’s something that I constantly go to God in prayer about knowing that he will hear my cry. I try to limit my time on social media and I try to talk to other brothers that have the same mindset as me when it comes to this. I believe we all have struggles but how we deal and I come out of the struggle is key! For any other guy that’s dealing with this, just know God knows your heart, and if you fall he will be right there with open arms ready for you to come back home. We are in a fixed fight 💪🏾💪🏾”
- Reggie Lewis
Just know that you’re not alone. Sometimes while going through mental and spiritual battles that turn physical, you can feel like you’re going through all by yourself. I know there were times when I struggled I didn’t want to tell anyone because I felt like I’d be judged and no-one would understand me. That’s a lie from the enemy and a tactic to keep you focused on your sin and not God’s grace. The truth is this: realize that you and I need God’s grace to get through anything that this world throws at us. It’s okay to admit you need help. In our weakness, Christ is made strong.
“but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9
The power and authority to break free from lust are in Jesus and your confession. Choose freedom today.
These three guys that chimed are God-given friends that I needed when I moved to Cleveland. We've formed a lifelong bond in a short amount of time. Each of us has platforms of influence that we desire to use in a way that inspires others to pursue the Lord and their purpose. We're currently in the process of coming up with some content that does just that. I won't give away the name at this point, but the idea behind the content is that we'll talk about issues that are taboo in a very raw and unfiltered way. Our desire is to be open, honest, and transparent as we continue our journey to receiving and becoming all that God has for us. Stay tuned.
Check out their current businesses
UnderGodByByfield - Diandre Byfield
GrindUntil Basketball - Reggie Lewis
Professional Basketball Player - Trey Lewis